5-Leaf Ivy Logo

Poetry Prose and Other Words

by Ken Ingham

home - poems - essays - autobio - retroblog
music - reading - other
- Gaia






Limericks, Favorite Jokes and other Silly Stuff

Brain Pain
I was once told in vain
what I already knew,
that my brain was contained in my rump.
How else to explain
why my thoughts go askew
when e’er my bike rolls over a bump?

Talking Frog
An elderly fellow with long beard and cane, hobbling down a muddy lane, encounters a friendly green frog (rana pipiens) squatting at the edge of a puddle, a hoofprint filled with yesterday's rain. He kneels down for a closer look, she winks at him and says with a croak

"Hello. If you pick me up and rub my back, I'll turn into a beautiful woman and will do whatever you ask".

He picks up the frog, puts it in the pocket of his jacket and continues hobbling down the lane. After a few minutes, the frog hollers out of the pocket

"Hey, aren't you going to rub my back?"

"Not right now" said the elderly fellow, and continued hobbling down the lane, enjoying the early morning sky and the calls of the meadowlarks.

A few more minutes go by and the frog again raises the subject of back rubbing, reminding him of the promised consequences. After a long pause, the elderly man says to the frog,

"You know, I've been thinking about your proposition and I've decided that at my age I'd rather have a talking frog".

Fishing Trip

A man was invited to join some coworkers for a spontaneous fishing trip. Being busy, he asked his loving wife to help him prepare.

"I'll need my tackle box, rod and reel, and several changes of sox and underware."

"No problem," said the wife. "Anything else?"

"Oh yes, could you please also pack my black silk pajamas?"

"Consider it done."

When the man returned a few days later, the wife asked him how it went.

"We had a fabuluous time. We caught more fish than we could count."

"Did you have everything you needed?" she inquired.

"Everything except the black silk pajamas," he replied. "Where did you put them?"

"In your tackle box."